Mrs Hudson's Discovery
by Djap
Summary: BETAD Holmes x Watson, Mrs Hudson hears her boss talking and makes a surprising discovery


**MRS. HUDSON'S DISCOVERY**

**A SHERLOCK HOLMES FANFICTION – MOVIEVERSE (2009)**

**PAIRING**: Sherlock Holmes x John Watson

**AUTHOR**: Djap

**RATING**: hard R for Language

**DISCLAIMER**: I don't own the boys (or Mrs. Hudson) and I won't make any money by using them for my own, silly pleasure. Pity.

**GENRE**: Humor, Romance

**LANGUAGE**: English

**BETA: **Neenabluegirl – thanks for your work and your patience with me

**A/N**: Did anybody else beside me spot all those Greek MALE (and only male, NO female) sculptures on Watson's windowsill at Baker Street? And they wonder where all this slash comes from**…**

**Mrs. Hudson's Discovery**

**a Djap story**

…

"You are not going anywhere."

Mrs. Hudson stopped dead in her tracks when she reached Mr. Holmes' bedroom chamber. She hadn't been aware that Mr. Holmes was receiving a visitor at this time in the evening, but Mr. Watson was home, so he had probably brought this person with him, without her noticing.

She wondered briefly, whether she should disturb Mr. Holmes with his usual evening tea but something in his voice had sounded odd, so she hesitated, long enough for the consulting detective to speak again.

"Pupils dilated, respiration coming in short huffs, sweat pearling on forehead, hands quivering. Analysis: Object is in state of obvious arousal."

Mrs. Hudson flushed a deep red. Now she knew where she'd heard that tone of voice from him before, but she'd never heard him apply it in such a manner. He usually applied this tone in his fighting analysis, right before he'd defeat an opponent in a boxing match. Did he have female company? Or was he just analyzing something for an employer of a new case?

"Subject features a slight limp, stands directly in front of the four poster bed. First attack: jostle object over."

Mrs. Hudson's blush deepened. 'Oh my.' Mr. Holmes certainly must have female company, because he certainly wouldn't talk like that to a man, now would he? Although the part with the limp sounded odd.

"Second point of attack: Straddle hips and discombobulate by removing clothing as quickly as possible."

Mrs. Hudson was torn between running away in shame and creeping closer to listen more intently as to not miss a single spoken word. She should know better by now than to give into her curiosity, but obviously all those years of working for Mr. Holmes had only increased her wish to know about everything that happens in 221 B Baker Street.

"Initiate kissing while subject is still dazed by lust. Stroke through hair, match tongue in a hearty duel."

Aw, Mr. Holmes could be such a romantic when properly motivated. He tried to hide that fact, but as his landlady, she knew better. By now Mrs. Hudson was eavesdropping shamelessly, the red tinge of her cheeks having spread already until her ears.

"Nibble on collarbone, employ bite-marks as to leave no question about the right of utilization."

Mrs. Hudson dearly hoped that Mr. Holmes guest wasn't that dreadful woman Miss Adler. She'd broken his heart in too many ways to deserve Mr. Holmes' devotion.

"Travel with tongue over pectoral and abdominal muscles, as well as solar plexus. Leave marks everywhere for later reference."

Pectoral muscles? That sounded odd to Mrs. Hudson ears. That certainly wasn't Mr. Holmes usual term for more female attributes. If she remembers correctly Mr. Holmes usually referred to this part of a woman's anatomy with 'mamma' or 'cleavage'. But there was a woman with him in his bedroom, wasn't there?

"Dip tongue into navel and ignore shiver of apprehension. Proceed to inhaling musky scent of pubic hair."

Mrs. Hudson barely refrained from peeking through the keyhole to Mr. Holmes' bedchamber. He would know she'd been eavesdropping right away, but this was sounding more curious every second. Who was this secret visitor, to whom Mr. Holmes wanted to do all those incredibly dirty things?

„Stimulate glans by licking it with lingua. Cause phallus to erect fully."

What. The. Bloody. Hell? She certainly must have heard wrongly, right? Mr. Holmes hadn't just said something about a… a… Mrs. Hudson couldn't even think the word her boss had been applying seconds before. But Mr. Holmes had never shown any signs of… okay. That was a lie. She may have suspected something like that for a long while now, but she had also been sure Mr. Holmes would never give into that impulse. Had he forgotten how dangerous it was to be with another man… that way?

"Fondle testicles and apply soft pressure on perineum. Swallow groan of arousal in a kiss."

Mrs. Hudson swallowed hard. She certainly was never exposed to this kind of talk in her normal life, but she wondered if she would someday get into a situation where she could apply her newfound knowledge.

"Grab the massage oil and use it as lubrication. Coax subject's body open with expert movement."

Mrs. Hudson shuddered as a heavy wave of arousal ran through her body. If possible she pressed her ear into the wood of the heavy oak door even harder.

"Grab knees at patella and position legs securely over shoulders. Final course of action: Sink into subject's body and make it scream with passion."

Mrs. Hudson swallowed heavily, her heart thudding away excitedly in her chest.

"Summary of Prognosis: shared orgasm in approximately 42 minutes. Capacity of object to dissent in my wish for depravity in the face of an imminent case: neutralized. Possibility to get caught in our debauchery by my nanny Mrs. Hudson: 100%."

Mrs. Hudson yelped at the reference to her person. Of course she'd been caught spying, she really should have known better that trying to outsmart one (even preoccupied) Sherlock Holmes. She practically could hear the smirk in Mr. Holmes last sentence and familiar laughter followed her down the stairs when she fled to the kitchen. Of course none other as Doctor Watson would be with him in his bedchamber.

In her hurry she missed Doctor Watson's answer to Mr. Holmes monologue though:

"Come here, Sherlock and make good on your promise. I love it when you talk dirty, old boy."

…

**Endless End**

**Finished 20****th**** December 2010**


End file.
